So, you’re about to get married in a few days and still don’t know how to truly express your feelings to your future husband or wife. It’s a problem that many men and women face in the final stretch before the wedding. Wedding vows are something sacred, and they should be difficult to write. After all, it’s a promise you’re making to your loved one.
You know that you love your partner. It’s something that’s on your mind 24 hours a day, 7 days a week—but sometimes it’s difficult to put all that love and meaning into a small paragraph or two. To try and make the process a little easier, we’re offering some ideas on how to put those feelings into the perfect wedding vows.
Start Working On Your Wedding Vows Early
Hopefully, you’re not waiting until the last minute. Many people do, but it’s always best to plan ahead of time. It’s easy to put it off and do something else instead, but try to dedicate 20 to 30 minutes a day to just sit and think, and jot some ideas down on paper (or your phone). Getting ideas down will help to exercise your brain a little bit.
Try A Brainstorm Bubble
A great method when you have writer’s block or are stuck on ideas is to try a “brainstorm bubble”. Write down your loved one’s name on a piece of paper, and circle the name. Next, start writing down things that you love about him or her around their name. Once you start getting a few things down, ideas will start to pop into your head.
Now that you’ve gotten a list of the reasons why you love your future spouse, you will have a better idea about what you’re trying to say about them.
Stay True To Yourself
There’s no need to completely change the way you are for your vows. You don’t need to create a very serious or formal-sounding vow if that isn’t your style. Your spouse will love you more for being yourself when writing your wedding vows.
If you’re naturally a funny person and like to make people laugh, it’s okay to make a joke or two. But if jokes don’t come easily to you, then don’t force it. Your loved one will be able to tell!
Now that you’ve gotten all these ideas from brainstorming, prioritize the most important ones. It’s important to remember that you’ve only got a few minutes to express your feelings in your vow. Try two keep your vows to one or two minutes max.
Remember, your partner will need to have their time for vows, too. Be sure to keep timing in your mind when you’re working on your wedding vows.
Try and look for inspiration in songs, movies, poems, or books that remind you of your loved one or that you’ve both enjoyed together. Chances are there’s a song that you both love. Try and draw inspiration from the song, whether it is a meaningful line or the general message of the song.
It’s Okay To Ask For Help
No one said this was going to be easy. A great way to write the perfect wedding vows for your loved one is to ask for help.
Ask your parents for advice. Most likely, your parents have been through it. Even if they didn’t write their own wedding vows, they still may have spent a lifetime with their partner. They can offer ideas to help make the process easier.
Ask friends that have been married for tips on how they wrote theirs. You’ll be able to bounce ideas and questions off them to get a better sense of how you want to write your wedding vows.
If you are asking for help, at least come up with some ideas or a brainstorm bubble first. Try to have at least given it some thought beforehand. Your family and friends will be able to better help you.
Speak To Your Officiant
You can speak with your officiant for advice. You can also ask them for a breakdown of how they’ll be officiating the ceremony so you can structure your vows around that.
Depending on the church you may be having your ceremony in, some will require you to recite traditional religious vows before you can speak your personal ones you’ve written. It’s important to also take this into consideration for both timing purposes and so you don’t have to repeat what you’ve already said. It can also help with inspiration.
Go For A Run
Seriously. This might sound dumb, but some of my best thinking and ideas come when you’re running or jogging. It gives you a chance to get out of the house and into your own thoughts a little bit.
A study done at the University of British Columbia states that aerobic exercises help boost the size of the hippocampus, the area of the brain the helps with verbal memory and learning.
Running past places that you and your loved one have been to can also help stir up memories you had together. Once you get back home, you can quickly get down any ideas or emotions that came to mind.
Look To Other Cultures
Every culture has their own traditions. Research what other cultures do for wedding vows, and you might be surprised by what you find. Chances are you’ll be able to find some inspiration from another culture that fits how you want to express your wedding vows to your loved one.
It’s Okay To Steal
Okay, let’s not do what the guy pictured above is doing! Obviously, that’s wrong. But when in doubt, look to see what others have written. There are a plethora of wedding vow examples online that you can use in your own vows. No one is going to try and sue you, we promise. Take inspiration from what people in the past have done to try and write the perfect wedding vows. But remember to keep your vows personal to you, and in your own style.
Keep in mind: writing wedding vows are supposed to be hard. This is the biggest promise you’ll be making to someone in your life. It’s important for you to take your time to craft your words properly and to truly convey how you feel.
Writing your wedding vows might also take time. That’s why our biggest suggestion is to start early. The earlier you start, the more time you’ll have to use all of these tips and strategies. The biggest thing is to be yourself. Don’t try to write something that isn’t true to your heart. Your loved one will appreciate it more because they’ll know it’s something that is truly and uniquely you.